Did you know that nearly half of the pregnancies in the United States are unexpected? Hopefully, knowing that fact helps you find comfort, as you certainly are not alone.

Anxiety accompanies all pregnancies to some extent. That anxiety is much higher when a woman is not prepared to be a parent due to her financial, marital, educational, housing, or other situation.

The first thing to be done is to learn about all your options so you can carefully decide what is best, but in asking the question, you also must define it a little more carefully by asking – “for whom are we deciding what is best?” For some women, the only consideration is what is best for themselves. For others, the question is bigger than themselves; they are also asking what is best for their baby.

In this day and age, we all know that abortion ends a life. We have the science to back it up. At the moment of fertilization, a new life is created. That teeny tiny embryo is a new life complete with its own DNA. And, if allowed to continue living, will develop into a precious little baby with a beating heart, little fingers and toes, and a cute baby nose. Your baby even has some of your features and personality because your baby has half of your DNA and set of chromosomes.

Some women may feel they have no choice but to have an abortion because of their varying circumstances. At Many Hearts, we would like to help you find enough support so you are able to make a different choice; one that can be best for both you and your baby. Choosing to take the life of another person will have a lasting negative impact on your life; especially when that life is your own baby.

PARENTING

One alternative to abortion is parenting the child yourself. If you would like to explore that option, we would like to help you. Our pregnancy counselors can help you assess your current situation and help determine a path forward for you by connecting you with resources in your communities for housing, food assistance, healthcare childcare resources and much more. Sometimes you just need to talk it through, find the appropriate resources and support, and get on the right path so you can feel confident in yourself.

Perhaps you need a counselor to help you and the father of the child to talk things out and determine how you can raise this child together. You may determine that marriage is the best path. If marriage is not the answer, efforts can still be made to work out an arrangement for co-parenting.

Maybe the father of the child will not be in the picture at all, or perhaps he is violent or unsafe. It is important to consider this as well in your decision-making process. Until you explore all the possibilities of parenting by talking it over and thinking it though, you will never know for sure if this is something you could have done. We urge you to fully explore this option before you make a decision to end the life of your unborn baby.

ADOPTION

Another alternative to abortion is placing a child for adoption. There are many women who say “I could never do that” when it comes to adoption. When we explore the reasons why, it is very typical that a woman is thinking one of two things:

1. First, she doesn’t have the right information about what a modern adoption is like
2. Second, she has heard horror stories about foster care situations, or she may have had foster care experiences of her own that were negative.

Placing a child for adoption is not foster care. If you place your newborn baby through private adoption, you are able to make the decisions. You will meet with and choose the family, you will choose what the ongoing relationship and communication will be like, and more.

Another reason why women often say “I could never do that” regarding adoption, is the thought of separation from their baby. It is true that there would be some degree of separation from her child. However, because she can stay in contact with her child and the adoptive family, she will see that her child is living and thriving and will get to be involved to some degree in her child’s life if that was the type of adoption she chose and the adoptive family agreed upon.

If she chooses abortion, she will be forever separated from her baby and will have the guilt and regret that most always accompanies an abortion decision. Separating a mother and baby placed for adoption is a very difficult thing. However, there are many women we have served that will tell you they do recover and heal over time, and they most certainly do not regret their decision.

We partner with a trusted adoption agency, Lutheran Family Service, that has been finding children their forever homes for over 125 years! Their process in which they thoroughly vet and select families in their program is very comprehensive. And, they are happy to work with and serve people from all walks of life in a safe, supportive, confidential and loving way. No pressure, no judgment; just love.

Another “myth” is to say that a woman will forget either her abortion or placing her child for adoption. Emotionally, both have a huge impact on a woman. Adoption may ultimately lead to an ongoing, strong, happy and love-filled life for both the woman and her child. Abortion can only lead to the possibility that the woman goes on to have a happy life. The same cannot be said for her baby. One sad truth is that many women who have an abortion do not go on to lead a happy life, especially not right away. Many women share that the experience and trauma of their abortion led them to emotions and behaviors they did not expect including substance abuse, depression, and anxiety.

Many Hearts unplanned pregnancy counselors can help show you the possibilities of adoption that you never dreamed were possible. Receiving a full explanation and education about what adoption can be, is something you owe yourself to consider prior to having an abortion that you cannot “undo”. Learning about your options does not obligate you to one choice or another.

At Many Hearts, we are here to attentively listen and provide information, resources and guidance. Please know that if you choose parenting, we will help connect you with the needed resources to help stabilize or improve your situation as well as resources needed to successfully parent your child. Or, if you choose adoption, we will work with you to assure that your baby is placed in a safe and loving home. Reach out to Many Hearts today!