Seven Questions to Ask Yourself

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be a scary time in a women’s life. A lot of big decisions need to be made that will shape the rest of your life and your baby’s life. You are likely exploring all your options at this point and want to see whether adoption or parenting is the best option for you.

Before making the decision, there are so many things to consider. That is why we suggest you contact and meet with a Many Hearts unplanned pregnancy counselor. They can help you explore your options in a safe and supportive environment. Below are questions to help you start considering if adoption could be right for you and your baby.

1. Do you want to become a parent now, and for the rest of your life?

Not everyone wants to be a parent at the time they become pregnant, and that’s okay. Think back five years… did you see children in your life at some point? Now think ahead five years… do you see a child included in your life? Sometimes the present moment and circumstances can keep us from seeing our future; one that might include a child. And, sometimes our current circumstances can also make us realize that parenting now is not the best choice.

2. Are you ready to become the parent that your child needs you to be now and for the rest of your life?

There is a big difference between wanting to become a parent and being ready to be the parent that your child deserves and needs. Wanting to become a parent is a wonderful thing that nearly everyone dreams about. However, just because you are facing an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t mean that the time for you to be a parent is now. Are you ready to become a caregiver, give up sleep, and cut back on your social activities such as partying and hitting the bars?

3. Is your job stable and are you able to provide for your child’s needs?

Do you have a steady income? You will need to work in order to provide an income for you and your baby. Will your current income support you and your baby? Babies need diapers, wipes, clothing, stroller, car seat, formula, food, medicine and more. Do you own a vehicle that is reliable and safe to transport you to work and your child to daycare? Are you able to purchase needed groceries? Do you have health insurance?

4. What childcare arrangements do you have that’s affordable, reliable and safe?

Even with assistance, childcare is expensive. Are there any licensed daycare centers that have openings? Do you have any trusted family members or friends that might be able to help out with a day or two? Will your child have a safe environment with trusted adults while you are working?

5. Do you plan to continue your education?

Education definitely leads to higher paying jobs and more career opportunities. Are you wanting to go back to school to get a degree or a certification? Can you manage both a job and going to classes? Going to college while raising a child is possible, but it is certainly more challenging.

6. How will parenting impact your mental health?

Are you struggling with mental illness such as depression, bipolar disorder, or other condition? The stress of parenting can make your mental health worse. Are you at a place in your mental wellness journey where you feel you can handle whatever comes your way?

7. Am I involved in risky behavior and/or battling addiction?

Your baby will need to have a physically and emotionally safe place to learn, grow and develop. Babies and children need stability and to be surrounded by positive people and experiences. Is your living situation stable? Who comes over to your home that would be around your child? Are you battling alcohol, drug or other addiction? Are you living with someone that is verbally or physically abusive?

If you don’t feel like your current situation is the best option for your baby, we suggest you continue learning about adoption. Exploring the idea of adoption does not commit you to choose adoption. And, you should never feel pressured into a decision as these big decisions take time. Sometimes what a person needs is an impartial person to talk things over with. That is what a Many Hearts unplanned pregnancy counselor can give you.

Initially, women may view adoption as “giving up their baby.” That couldn’t be further from the truth. At Many Hearts, we know that with adoption, women are giving their baby unconditional love. Adoption means that you are creating a loving adoption plan for your baby that will include safety, health, stability and love. You are giving your baby the best life you can imagine, even if that means you will not be the person providing ongoing parenting.

The great thing about adoption is that you are in charge. With the help of our trusted adoption partner, Lutheran Family Service, you can choose from adoptive parents that have been carefully vetted, screened and selected into their adoption program. You can choose how open the relationships will be between you and the adoptive family. And, you can create the delivery day hospital plan. Wherever you feel like you need help, your pregnancy counselor and adoption caseworker can step in and provide that help to you. We will be here for you with no-pressure and no-judgement; just love.