Six Important Aspects of Parenting

 

Let’s talk about what it might look like to parent your child once they are out of the womb and into your arms. The first year of life is going to be a lot of sleep deprivation and spit up, but there will also be smiles, cuddles and incredibly precious moments that you’ll never forget!

While there is no exact science to parenting, there are six major aspects to think about now. These aspects will be extremely important to the healthy development of your child as well as help set yourself up for parenting success.

1. Environment

The physical and emotional environment you create for your baby will play a big role in your child’s future (MentalHelp.net). Your physical environment, such as your house or apartment, must be safe, clean and baby-proofed. Baby proofing items would include baby gates, outlet covers, stove knob covers, cabinet locks, and more. You can Google “how to baby proof my home” and you’ll find articles like this one on Parents.com.

Now for the emotional environment. Your baby will need to have a physically and emotionally safe place to learn, grow and develop. Babies and children need stability and to be surrounded by positive people and experiences. The people within your environment need to model good behavior; especially kindness toward you and them. As babies grow and develop, the environmental experiences influence their emotional and social development. As an infant, babies pick up on their surroundings. Your newborn baby can feel distress and happiness.  As they grow, they will model what they seen from parents and other people they have spent time with. Between 2 and 6 months, babies can express anger, sadness, surprise and fear. Around 4 months, your baby can begin to distinguish the emotional expressions of others. Between 5 and 6 months, they can exhibit stranger anxiety. By age 9 months, your baby will start to show displeasure or sadness. At 12 months, your baby’s understanding of other emotions grows immensely (MentalHelp.net). They can pick up on emotional states, especially distress. As your child grows, they will model behaviors seen from their parents, guardians, caregivers, and anyone else that has played a large role in their or your life.

2. Structure

One of the biggest parts of successful parenting is to provide structure for your children. Babies and children thrive on consistent routines and rules. Rules teach what behaviors are okay and not okay and routines teach children what to expect throughout the day.

When it comes to building structure, the three most important things are consistency, predictability, and follow-through. Consistency is doing the same thing every time. For example, if your child hits their sibling, that means a time out. Predictability is expecting or knowing what is going to happen. If you have a predictable bedtime routine, life is much easier because your child knows what is going to happen. For example, if you have a bedtime routine, your child knows to expect a bath, brushing teeth, reading a story, getting into bed, and lights out.

The final key to success is follow-through on enforcing the consequence. You need to do what you say you will do. Empty threats deteriorate structure. For example, you give your child a warning that if they don’t pick up their toys, they will lose playtime. Your child still doesn’t pick up their toys. They lose playtime. Follow-through sounds simple; however, after a long and stressful day at work it can be challenging. Just know that if you practice these three keys, your life will be much less stressful in the long run (CDC.gov).

3. Sleep

You’ve likely heard lots of opinions out there when it comes to getting your baby to sleep. Make sure that you put safety first. In a Mayo Clinic article, they give the following recommendations.

• Develop a rhythm – this goes back to the structure we just discussed. Although the pattern might be crazy right away, a more consistent sleep schedule will emerge. Many babies sleep 5+ hours at a time by age 3 or 4 months. And, at some point in their first year, they should sleep about 10 hours each night. Follow a consistent, calming bedtime routine. Put your baby to bed drowsy, but awake. Give your baby time to settle down on their own. Consider a pacifier. Keep nighttime care (feeding or diaper change) low-key with dim lights, soft voice and calm movements.
• Sleep separate – have your baby sleep in your room, but never in your bed. Use a crib, bassinet, or other item designed for infant sleep for at least six months up to one year. Adult beds are dangerous for infants. Your baby can become trapped and suffocate to death under a sleeping parent or other areas of the bed. The intent is good, but the outcome can be deadly and devastating.
• Safety first – Put your baby on their back for sleep every single time. This can lower the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Keep blankets, pillows, bumper pads, and soft toys out of their sleep area to lower their risk of suffocation. Use a firm sleep surface such as a mattress in a safety-approved crib (CDC.gov).

A good night’s sleep promotes better eating, healthier bodies and good habits. Continue to use routine and structure as your child gets older.

4. Eating

Feeding your baby will consist of either breastfeeding or formula or a combination of both. The length of time a woman may nurse her child will differ depending on the circumstances and unforeseen issues, such as mastitis. Breast milk can have significant advantages for infants, but it is not the best choice for every woman. Infants fed formula do very well. And for some women, this is just a more ideal situation because they do not have the luxury of being with their infant all the time. This is a personal decision in which you need to consider all of your specific circumstances.

When your child turns 6 months old, you may start to introduce some solid foods, also known as baby food. Some choose to make their own baby food using a fruit, veggies and a food processor. Others determine that baby food bought at the grocery store is perfectly fine for them and offers more options and convenience. When introducing foods, you will do so slowly and one at a time so that if your baby has a reaction, you can easily identify which food was the culprit.

As your child ages, you will soon see they have developed likes and dislikes of their own. Though it is important to understand these preferences, it is also important to give your child a healthy and balanced diet full of fruits, vegetables, proteins, whole grains, and other whole foods. Do what you can to limit added sugars and processed foods as well. Even though your toddler might prefer chicken nuggets every day, it’s not a good idea to allow this. You have the opportunity to start your child out with good and healthy eating habits. It’s just as easy to grab an apple of the counter for a snack as opposed to a twinkie. Limit having junk food in your home and offer up delicious whole fruits and veggies for snacks.

5. Discipline

Discipline looks different in every stage of life. At some stages you will need to be patient, while at others, you need to be more strict. What is the best way to discern this? Every parent will have a different opinion on the best way to discipline. Ultimately, the goal is to shape a child’s behavior so that they can learn how to self-regulate on their own down the road. Infants are too young for discipline, but a toddler is not. Disciplining a toddler might start out with distraction from the cause of their bad behavior. Older toddlers may need to sit in a time out, or have a toy taken away for a few minutes for emphasis. An important part of discipline is positive reinforcement and meaningful praise to reward good behavior.

Sticker charts, a new book, a trip to the park, or special mommy and me time are all examples of ways to reward good behavior. Never discipline your child physically. Many studies have shown that physical punishment – including spanking, hitting and other means of causing pain can lead to increased aggression, antisocial behavior, physical injury and mental health problems for children. It may work in the moment, because children are afraid of being hit, but it doesn’t work to shape behavior long-term and even worse, it can make children more aggressive toward siblings and peers (APA.org).

6. Physical & Emotional Care

You already know that diaper changes are essential; but, did you know that infants need to have their diapers changed every 2 hours until they start walking? After they start walking, you’ll need to change their diaper every 3 hours. That comes out to 2,190 diaper changes in the first year! Neglecting to change a diaper could cause a rash and skin irritation. Diaper rashes are quite common with infants and are certainly not always the fault of parents neglecting to change them often enough. Some babies skin can be very sensitive to certain diapers and not others. You will need to experiment and make note of diaper products that don’t agree with your baby’s skin. Also consider if you will use disposable or cloth diapers. Financial and environmental considerations may take part in your decision on what type to use. Depending upon where you live, there might be a diaper pantry near you to help with the financial side.

Other physical care will include belly button care after birth, circumcision care if you have a boy, hair and scalp care to prevent or treat cradle cap, digestive and food sensitivity or food allergy issues, skin irritations or skin allergies, teething and tooth care, nail trimming and care, burping after feeding, bathing, disease preventing vaccines, regular checkups, and more. Good thing we have Google as there is a lot of great information about all this and more. Make sure that you do your research on credible websites as well as getting approval from your child’s doctor before implementing anything new.

When it comes to emotional care, your baby will need all of the love you have to give. You will be busy doing many things for your baby which take a lot of time and effort. However, holding, talking to, making eye contact with, signing to, reading to, playing with and rocking your baby are just as essential as feeding and changing your baby’s diaper. You are creating a special bond and cycle of communication with your infant. They are learning to trust you to take care of all their needs. They are learning to advocate for themselves in the only way they have; crying. This cycle of trust will carry forward in their lives allowing them to form relationships with others and continuing to advocate for themselves in other ways because they know they are a valued and important person. The way you interact with your baby, toddler, child and teenager is shaping their ability to form relationships. Your love, attention and support as a baby is essential to their future.

The structure you build will have lasting effects on your child’s entire life. Take time to consider how you will handle each aspect before the birth of your baby, and find those positive and loving support people around you that can take a turn when you are exhausted. Babies are incredible in every way, but they are also demanding. Having a trusted partner, family member or friend to take a turn when you need a break is something that you’ll need.

While parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever have, it is also the most rewarding. The unconditional love you feel for your new baby is a feeling like no other. You’ll find incredible strength that you never knew you had. Your life will have more love and joy than you ever knew was possible. You will find life to be filled with so much more meaning and purpose than you could have ever imagined.